Give That Baby a Firework
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness and to blow your own hand off however you well please. Be it M80, firecracker, Roman Candle, cherry bomb or good ol’ fashioned TNT.
Did you know one of the most dangerous fireworks is actually the ever popular Sparkler? A typical sparkler can burn at temperatures up to 1,800 degrees – which is hot enough to melt gold let alone your face. But we really should be giving these little death sticks to our children – see why after the jump:
Looking through LIFE Magazine’s Google archives, I noticed an inordinate amount of photos of tiny children playing with fireworks. Maybe that’s the key to turing this country around. A lot of valuable life lessons can be gleaned through fireworks.
- Personal Responsibility: You blow your finger off or burn a hole through your hand - that’s your fault.
- Don’t be stupid: plain and simple.
- Prepare for the worst: always have a bucket of water near by for when you do light something on fire.
- Experiences are always better when shared: it’s no fun when you’re the only one there to make the ooo’s and ahhh’s.
- Geometry is valuable: it’s how you figure out where the firecracker that you just threw into the air is going to land.
- Never underestimate the little guy: spinning flowers anyone?
- Timing is everything: You gotta let the wick burn down a little bit in your hand and know when to throw that Cracklin’ Ball so it explodes in the air and not when it lands or in your hand.
- Respect Fire: It’s been burning mankind for eons.
- The more fun it is now, the bigger the mess will be in the morning – unless you’re in the Philippines and you pay some dudes to do the clean up for you.
So remember, tomorrow while you’re reveling in this summer holiday, be sure to give that baby a firework – it’s for America’s future.
- Curt
Oh,the Philippines, those were some bad ass crackers! Please tell me I didn’t let you light any of those deadly bombs on your own. Fun memory though; I’ll never forget what that beach looked like after we got done with our fun. And how cool was that to see fireworks go off under water; who knew?
Comment by Lynn — July 4, 2010 #
this was a great article! soooo funny!
Comment by corrie mae. — July 4, 2010 #
[...] last year’s 4th of July post No [...]
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